Tuesday, September 27, 2011

sigh of relief

I know, I know it's been a while, but I have a good reason.  This past week we had our PTA Carnival.  I have been dreading this day for the past year and a half, pretty much since the I agreed to be the president. I have had anxiety and panic attacks, and pretty much though of every thing to get me out of this including hoping for major injury (I was seriously jealous of your broken ankle Stacey!) and even having a baby.
In the end the anticipation was worse than the reality.  I had such great people to help me out and such a strong foundation to build on that things ran so smoothly.  If fact my biggest worry the week of the carnival was that things were going too well and I was sure that I had forgotten something. 
It was stressful and the day of was crazy trying to get things set up in time. There were a few minor glitches, but in the end it was really fun.  Near the end I got out the hula hoops and had the kids do a hula hoop contest.  It was such a great moment to see dozens of kids all smiling and dancing, it made all the work and stress worth it.  In that moment I felt like I had done something good, something that I didn't think I could do.  I'm still kind of on a high from it.  
The past year and a half has been hard.  We've had some big changes around here that I haven't really wanted to talk about here and this night was exactly what I needed, when I needed it to make me feel like I could still do good things.  To see and be seen by people who I haven't been around for a while and have them know that I'm still me and I'm still part of the community. I'm so relieved that it's over, and even though I still have the rest of the year to get through, I feel like the hard part is over, and hopefully I won't be such a stress case anymore.