Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Things on my mind

I keep catching a stomach bug. I don't know if it is really a bug or just my body adjusting to a healthier diet and so when I over indulge on cookies I end up puking. I really hate throwing up and I think I did more than my fair share of it while I was pregnant. It's really not my favorite way to lose weight.

I really hate running errands. My girls start dance this week so that means lots of running around. Call me selfish but running my kids from place to place is one of my least favorite parts of motherhood, and I only have 2 kids. I don't know how mom's with many kids do it.

I've been feeling really disconnected lately. I don't feel like I fit in. I have always blamed my not fitting in on my weight, but I find as I lose weight I still don't fit in. I really hate not being a part of things but I hate being being fake even more and I feel like I'd have to fake it to fit in. I spent way to many years being fake and tryng to blend in and I just don't want to do it now. My friend came by this morning to show me her new dress and get my opinion. She is engaged and just cute about getting married, I'm so happy for her and she really brightened my day. With her I fit in. She is 65. Go figure. I guess I just don't fit in the box I'm supposed to fit in.

Jon won his weight loss contest at work. He is looking pretty darn good. He looked pretty darn good before, but he looks even better now.

I'm really happy about how my little sewing business is taking off. I haven't sold much off the site but I've been busy with 3 different custom dresses. I hope things stay busy.

We have a vacation planned with my brother and sister and their families and grandma. I'm so so excited. My family was kind of messed up for a while and now there isn't anyone I'd rather spend time with.


Janey said...

What an honest and sweet post, Alison. I know that feeling of not quite fitting in-- but wanting it at the same time. I've felt that way many times myself. Good for you though, for not being fake-- that way the friendships you do make will be genuine, and be more meaningful.
I would love to see you sometime when I am in Utah-- I really want to get one your pillows that you make (the lap ones that hold books). They are so beautiful, and I know I would use it often.
Hope you have a fun time going out of town!

Cami and Dustin said...

I hope you feel better soon! And I don't think you should feel like you have to fit in to any certain box! You just be you, I think you're great!!

Have a great time on the trip with your family!!

P.S. I don't know if you saw, but I left you a comment on Facebook. :)

stacey said...

Alison, I agree about the driving part. We are off track now so the only driving I am doing is to baseball & soccer but come next week I have school, Dance for 2 girls and gymnastic not to mention baseball & soccer AHHHH I think I might "drive" myself crazy :)

I think once we become wives and moms it is harder for us to "fit in" so much of our lives revolves around our families, but I honestly wouldn't want it any other way! Be yourself and I am sure Jon and your girls would think you "fit in" pretty well with them :)

Alison said...

Thank you ladies for your support. I appriciate know that I do have some great friends, It's just discouraging to find that I'm being left out, wether that is intenional or accidental it makes me feel like people don't like me. I don't expect everyone to like me, I don't like everyone, but I feel like I try hard to join in and include others and I don't always feel like I'm getting the same consideration. I'm probably going to offend some by saying that but it's true.
Jane I would love to see you some time when your in town, sorry I will miss you this weekend. I'm so glad to be back in touch with you.
Cami I did get your message.
Stacey- I think you are an amazing mom. We really need to get together.

Rachel Banks said...

I may be too late. My computer is finally up and running after the move. I have a few things to say....I think you're wonderful and you've never lacked for friends. I'm excited about the weight loss. What a great feeling. I too hate driving my girls around, especially when I have to take a baby everywhere. It sucks. Sometimes, I was glad because I worked and didn't have to take the kids to and from school, they just hopped in with me! I miss you and I'm grateful to be able to stay connected after all these years. Love you!